From Resolutions to Values: Living the Year Aligned with What Matters Most
As the new year begins, it’s natural to feel inspired to set resolutions—those ambitious goals designed to improve your life in some way. But if you’ve ever set a resolution only to abandon it by February, you’re not alone. Resolutions often fail because they’re based on external expectations or unrealistic demands, rather than what truly matters to us.
This year, consider an alternative: instead of focusing on rigid resolutions, shift to values-based living. Aligning your actions with your deepest priorities can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that lasts well beyond January.
Why Resolutions Often Don’t Stick
Resolutions typically focus on specific, measurable outcomes—losing 10 pounds, exercising five days a week, or saving a certain amount of money. While these goals can be motivating, they often:
Feel restrictive: They focus on what you “should” do, which can feel like a chore rather than a meaningful choice.
Lack flexibility: Life is unpredictable, and rigid goals don’t always leave room for adjustments.
Ignore the bigger picture: They may target surface-level behaviors without addressing the underlying values or motivations behind them
When a resolution feels like a pass/fail test, even small setbacks can lead to frustration and abandoning the goal altogether.
What Is Values-Based Living?
Values-based living shifts the focus from achieving specific outcomes to aligning with what truly matters to you. Your values are the guiding principles that reflect who you are and what’s most important in your life—things like compassion, creativity, growth, or connection.
By identifying and living in alignment with your values, you create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that goes beyond checking items off a list.
How to Identify Your Core Values
To start living a values-based life, take time to reflect on what matters most to you. Ask yourself:
What brings me a sense of meaning or joy?
What kind of person do I want to be?
What do I want to stand for in my relationships, career, and personal growth?
When I feel proud of myself, what am I doing?
Write down your answers and look for common themes. These themes often reveal your core values. For example:
If spending time with loved ones brings you joy, connection might be a core value.
If you feel proud when you take on challenges, growth could be a core value.
Living Aligned with Your Values
Once you’ve identified your values, use them as a compass for your actions. Here’s how:
1. Set Values-Based Intentions
Instead of resolutions, create intentions that align with your values. For example:
Resolution: "Go to the gym five days a week."
Values-Based Intention: "Prioritize physical health to feel strong and energized."
The intention focuses on the value (health) rather than the outcome (gym attendance), giving you flexibility in how you pursue it.
2. Use Values to Guide Daily Decisions
Ask yourself how your values can guide your choices throughout the day. For example:
If kindness is a core value, look for opportunities to express it—whether by helping a colleague or showing self-compassion during a tough moment.
If creativity is a core value, carve out time to write, paint, or explore new ideas.
3. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Values-based living isn’t about perfection; it’s about making choices that align with your priorities. Even small steps—like taking a walk to prioritize health or calling a friend to nurture connection—are wins worth celebrating.
4. Reevaluate and Adjust
Your values may evolve over time, and that’s okay. Periodically check in with yourself to ensure your actions still align with what matters most.
The Benefits of Values-Based Living
Focusing on values over rigid resolutions can:
Reduce feelings of failure by emphasizing alignment rather than achievement.
Foster a sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Encourage flexibility and creativity in how you pursue your goals.
Help you stay grounded in what truly matters, even when life gets hectic.
Practice Self-Compassion
This year, let go of the pressure to chase resolutions that don’t resonate deeply with you. Instead, focus on what matters most—your core values. By living a life aligned with your priorities, you can create a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and joy that lasts long after the new year has passed.
If you’d like support in identifying your values or learning how to align your life with them, consider working with a therapist. Therapy can help you explore your values, clarify your goals, and navigate the challenges of creating a meaningful life. Whether through our practice or another trusted professional, reaching out is a powerful step toward a values-driven year.
Chanderbhan Psychological Services
About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer telehealth to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.
