How to Spot Relationship Burnout
You’ve probably heard of career burnout — something that can occur when you’re taking on too much at work or feel overwhelmed by what’s expected of you on your career path. This kind of burnout can cause extra stress, anxiety, depression, and a lack of motivation and productivity.
But the workplace doesn’t corner the market on triggering burnout. In fact, your relationship can do the same thing.
Relationship burnout isn’t always as easy to spot, but it often creates disconnection with your partner. You might feel detached from them, or start to view your relationship in a negative light, so you want to distance yourself.
Relationship burnout doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship has to end. But it’s important to recognize the signs as early as possible so you can be proactive about making a positive change.
So, what are some signs of relationship burnout?
A Deep Disconnect
Again, the biggest sign of relationship burnout is a sense of detachment from your partner. You might not understand why you feel so disconnected but if you want to do more without them or find yourself not enjoying the things you do together, consider it a sign.
Your thoughts about your partner might also start to shift. You might start to see them in a negative light or notice things about them that bother you that you didn’t necessarily see before. The problem with these thoughts is that they make you cynical towards almost everything your partner does, which will distance you even further from them, and lead to thoughts that you’d be better off without them.
Frequent Fighting
When you feel negatively about someone, they will likely get on your nerves more often. Even if your partner hasn’t really changed, you might find more things to argue with them about.
Arguments in a healthy relationship aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They can bring you closer and improve your communication. But if you’re fighting frequently, about small things that you were able to easily ignore previously, it’s going to take a toll on your emotional health and your bond with your partner. Both of you will eventually become exhausted, and it can cause you to “shut down,” and withdraw from each other.
You Think About Leaving
Do you feel like you no longer have the energy or motivation to put effort into your relationship? Do you think about leaving and trying to find ways to get “out” without making a big scene?
It’s not necessarily uncommon for people to have doubts in a relationship from time to time. But, if those doubts are consistent and you daydream about getting out of the relationship more often than not, it’s a clear sign of burnout.
A Lack of Intimacy
Physical intimacy isn’t the most important thing in a relationship, but it’s one of the most important. If you and your partner are no longer having sex or showing any signs of physical intimacy, it’s a red flag.
Keep in mind that people’s sex drives are different. But if the thought of being physical with your partner evokes negative feelings or even causes you to feel disgust, you’re likely on the edge of relationship burnout.
What Can You Do?
If you’re experiencing relationship burnout, the best thing you can do is be completely honest with your partner. Talk about your needs and wants and choose to be fully present with each other more often.
It can also be beneficial to take a small break. Maybe you’re feeling a lack of independence in your relationship. Spending more time apart can help you reclaim your identity and feel better about yourself and who you are.
Finally, consider attending therapy either on your own or as a couple. A therapist can help you better understand the cause of your relationship burnout. They’ll also offer strategies you can use to overcome it, whether that means moving on from the relationship or working together to become stronger.
Chanderbhan Psychological Services
About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer telehealth to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.
