Sometimes we feel stuck in our lives; we're unsure what our next career or educational move should be, or if we're really in the right relationship. At other times, we may struggle with feelings of discontent and malaise. We look around our lives and there are many good things present but we don't feel our lives are truly meaningful. When we find ourselves in these places, its helpful to clarify our values. What are our values?

And are the life you're living and the choices you're making really aligning with your values? It seems simple but a pause to reflect on who we are and where we want to go can help us build more purposeful, fulfilling lives.

Most people have a basic understanding of values. However, it’s not always easy to pinpoint and clarify what your values really are unless you spend some time really thinking about it and taking a look at your life.

With that in mind, let’s look at what values are and how values clarification can help you live your best life.

What Are Values?

Again, most people think they understand what values are, but when was the last time you really thought about it?

Values are the things you find important. They determine both your priorities and your behaviors, as well as your attitude toward everything from your social life to your career.

Values can also make up who you want to be. For example, if you value kindness, that doesn’t mean you’re a perfect person who is “nice” all of the time. However, you strive to be that way every day, you use this value to make choices in situations you face every day and, most of the time,  you try to make sure your actions are aligned with this value.

Sometimes people think of values as goals. But actually, values guide goals. The goal might be to make a certain amount of money. But ask yourself what's the value that's driving that? What do you want to do with that money? Is it to contribute to missionary work? Social justice causes? Take care of your family in specific ways so that they don't face certain struggles? To give you the free time to engage in creative pursuits that you enjoy?

You can use values to determine who you are and who you want to be, but they also serve as measuring tools. By clarifying your values, you’ll have a better idea if the life you’re living lines up with the things you find important.

Ultimately, your values are a compass for your life; they tell you when you're off-course or when you're heading in the direction you want to go.

What is Values Clarification?

You might have a basic understanding of the things that mean the most to you, but when was the last time you clarified what your values really are?

Values clarification refers to a process or exercise that helps you further develop self-awareness. It’s something that encourages you to dig deeper to discover both your moral principles and priorities.

Being able to identify your personal values system can help you to prioritize what matters to you, but it also encourages you to step outside of your comfort zone to live the life you really want. Self-reflection is useful for finding direction and motivation. If you’re feeling “stuck” in certain areas of your life or hungering for something more, values clarification can help you figure out what it is you’re really looking for.

Values Clarification Exercises

It’s not always easy to clarify your values on your own. You can take a look at your life and likely recognize whether you’re living according to those values, but you might not know what to do if things aren’t lining up.

There are several values clarification exercises you can go through with a licensed professional, or you can try to take a few on your own using online resources. See this helpful values clarification exercise (chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://drexel.edu/~/media/files/studentlife/counseling/bulls%20eye%20values%20exercise.ashx?la=en

If you decide to work with a therapist, you’ll likely go through several steps, including distinguishing what you truly value from whatever society and social norms might expect from you.

A therapist can make it easier for you to clearly define your values and what’s important to you, drawing out deeply-rooted beliefs that you may have buried for years. You’ll set both immediate and long-term goals, and use CBT skills to reach those goals while remaining consistent with your values.

You don’t have to constantly question what your true values are or how you should be using them to live a better life. Work on clarifying those values and how you can use them to set and achieve goals that work for you.

About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer video counseling services to individuals located in the wider State of Texas. To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website