The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. For some, it lives up to that image. But for others, the holidays can magnify feelings of loneliness, especially for those experiencing a life transition, grieving a loss, or feeling like an outsider in gatherings that emphasize family and togetherness.

Loneliness during the holidays isn’t limited to people who are physically alone. You might be surrounded by family but feel out of place because you’re recently divorced or single in a family of couples. Maybe you’re grieving a loved one who’s no longer here, or this year looks completely different because of a breakup or significant life change. Whatever the reason, feeling lonely during this time is valid, and you’re not alone in these emotions.

Here’s some guidance to help navigate holiday loneliness with self-compassion and intentionality.

Table of Contents

• Acknowledge Your Feelings

• Set Boundaries That Honor Your Needs

• Create New Traditions

• Stay Connected, Even in Small Ways

• Focus on Gratitude and What’s in Your Control

• Practice Self-Compassion

• Seek Professional Support if Needed

The holidays can come with the expectation that you’re supposed to feel happy, but it’s okay if you don’t. Ignoring feelings of sadness, frustration, or loneliness often makes them worse. Acknowledge how you’re feeling without judgment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions, even during the holidays.

You don’t have to attend every event or fulfill every tradition if it doesn’t feel right this year. If certain gatherings or activities feel too overwhelming, it’s okay to opt out. Communicate your needs kindly but firmly. For example:

• “I appreciate the invitation, but I need a quieter day this year.”

• “I’m focusing on smaller gatherings this holiday season.”

If your life situation has changed—due to a divorce, breakup, or loss—it’s natural to grieve what’s different. At the same time, you have the opportunity to create new traditions that feel meaningful to you.

• If you’re spending the holidays alone, treat yourself to a cozy day with your favorite movie or meal.

• If you’re grieving someone, consider lighting a candle in their honor or writing them a letter.

• Plan an activity you’ve always wanted to try during the holidays, like volunteering, taking a solo trip, or cooking a new recipe.

Feeling lonely doesn’t always mean being physically alone, but reaching out to others can help. Connection doesn’t have to be grand to be meaningful.

• Call or text a friend, even just to check in.

• Attend community events, like a holiday market or volunteer opportunity.

• If you’re single and everyone around you seems coupled up, seek out friends in similar situations for support and camaraderie.

It’s easy to focus on what’s missing during the holidays, but try to also recognize what you do have. Start a daily gratitude practice by jotting down a few things you appreciate, no matter how small. This doesn’t negate your feelings of loneliness but can help you shift your perspective over time.

• Additionally, focus on what you can control. You can’t change how others behave or what traditions look like, but you can shape your own experience in ways that feel supportive.

Loneliness often comes with a side of self-criticism—thoughts like, “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “What’s wrong with me?” Challenge those thoughts with kindness. Remind yourself that loneliness is part of the human experience and doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

If self-criticism sneaks in, counter it with compassion:

• “It’s okay to feel this way; the holidays are hard for me this year.”

• “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.”

If feelings of loneliness become overwhelming or last beyond the holiday season, reaching out to a therapist can provide a safe space to process your emotions and develop strategies for coping. Therapy can be particularly helpful if you’re navigating grief, a major life change, or longstanding patterns of feeling isolated.

You’re Not Alone

The holidays can feel lonely for many reasons, but you don’t have to face those feelings in isolation. Whether you’re grieving a loss, adjusting to a new life chapter, or simply feeling out of sync with the cheer around you, there are ways to make space for yourself and your needs during this season.

You might not be able to change the circumstances that make the holidays challenging, but you can choose how to approach them—with gentleness, intentionality, and the understanding that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer telehealth to individuals located in the wider State of Texas.  To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.