Intimacy or opening up others in relationships isn’t as natural for some as it is for others. Maybe you have a misconception of what intimacy really is. Maybe you’ve tried to be open and vulnerable in the past and have had negative experiences. You might have never experienced true intimacy because of the walls you’ve built up over time. Whatever the case, close relationships require intimacy. 

That doesn’t mean things need to be sexual. There’s a common misconception that intimacy and sex are one and the same. While intimacy can lead to closer physical interactions, it doesn’t always need to. Rather, it’s about personal closeness within a relationship. It’s about vulnerability and openness.

So, how can you allow yourself to be open up in relationships? Let’s cover a few tips.

1. Understand Your Fears

If something is holding you back from being opening up, dig deeper. Think about what might be causing your “fear” of intimacy or situations from your life that cause you to be guarded now. Like most issues, getting to the root cause of a problem is often the best way to start working through it. It’s not always easy to dig and discover where your trouble with intimacy comes from, but it’s a necessary first step.

2. Be Kind to Yourself

You might struggle to open up in relationships because you’re down on yourself. Past experiences can cause you to lose your sense of self-worth. If you don’t value who you are and what you want, you will have difficulty opening up and being intimate with anyone else.

Be self-compassionate. Recognize that you have value. Your partner sees it. Your friends and family see it. It’s time to start seeing it for yourself, so don’t be afraid to talk to those closest to you. They’ll likely be happy to tell you everything they love about who you are.

3. Communicate

Communicating is essential for every type of healthy relationship. It’s also an important step when you’re trying to build intimacy and openness. You might be scared to be vulnerable with a partner or friend. But the more you communicate, the easier it will become. Take baby steps as you open up. Make sure the person you’re talking to understands it’s difficult for you, so they can take steps to make you more comfortable. With open communication, you’ll learn more about yourself, your relationships, and the people in your life so that you can build intimacy within those relationships.

4. Try New Things

Routines are great. They provide comfort and stability, and can be wonderful for your mental well-being. But, if you have trouble opening up in relationships, your routine could be serving as a security blanket you don’t need. 

Try to break free from your daily routine once in a while. Try something new or commit yourself to a challenge. Sometimes, stepping out of your comfort zone and getting away from a regular routine can boost your confidence and your self-worth, making it easier to open up and be more vulnerable.

5. Find Fulfillment

Don’t put all your time, energy, and focus into your struggle to be intimate. Instead, focus on finding fulfillment and satisfaction in other areas of your life. When you’re only focused on intimacy, you’re going to become more anxious about it. Find your satisfaction elsewhere, and you’re more likely to be calm and open.

6. Talk to Someone

It’s not always easy to address intimacy issues on your own. That’s especially true when you’re trying to get down to the reason(s) you’re struggling in the first place. 

Thankfully, you don’t have to go through the journey alone. If you’re ready to work on your issues with intimacy and openness, feel free to reach out for help. Working with a skilled therapist can help you get to the root of intimacy issues and make the changes you want.

About: Chanderbhan Psychological Services is a therapy practice located in Laredo, Texas. We help individuals and couples who are struggling in different areas of their lives gain the clarity they need to grow and change. We also offer telehealth to individuals located in the wider State of Texas.  To read blogs on mental health and relationships, visit our website.